Thursday, July 21, 2005

That other crap is fake but THIS IS REAL and The Ultimate Shoot

THE BALL IS DROPPED ONCE AGAIN....

Look I know shoot angles are a part of the business and I think if done correctly they can be very beneficial but WWE has totally dropped the ball on this Matt Hardy angle. First off, the guy has pissed and moaned and trashed them on the internet for monthes after being "fired", yet now here he is stepping out of Vince's limo and shaking his hand on live t.v. after being re-signed for showing up and "crashing" there shows...... O.k. I'll deal with that, but here's where they lose me. Moments after Good Ole J.R. tells us that Edge and Lita aren't here due to a heinsous attack from Kane, Matt tells us that the Lita/Kane marriage is all a work and tells us the shoot details of his relationship with 'Amy Dumas' and the betrayal of 'Adam Copeland'. Now I know everyone knows it's a work nowadays and that shoot angles are hip, but you cannot just flat out acknowledge that something you've put over huge(the Kane/Edge/Lita angle) is all worked bullshit, but THIS is real. Your shitting on everything else that is happening on your show, because not only is he shitting on the Kane angle but it's also saying that everything else you've watched(and will watch) on the show that night is bullshit, it kills the suspension of disbelief that is required to enjoy a wrestling show. Russo used to do that shit in WCW, like the deal with Hogan, where he had Jarrett lay down for Hogan and then Russo cuts the 'shoot promo' on Hogan using his 'creative control' and not wanting to 'put over' the other guys. Then the announcers tell you that was a shoot and was real and wasn't on the 'format', then we cut from that to a Vampiro/Kiss Demon graveyard match or some stupid shit, and now we're supposed to take the announcer's emotion seriously when they just acknowledged it was all scipted. I know that want to cash in on the realism of there situation but there are far more subtle ways to do it. Like Shawn Michaels for instance, there were shoot aspects to his promo on last weeks RAW, but they were thrown in there in a way where they were easy to pick up by the smart people, but do not slap the marks in the face with terms they don't understand or by flat out saying "Terry, I'm not gonna do the job and let you go over at Summerslam." "What'cha gonna do when the Heartbreak Kid won't lay down for you" can be interpreted in a shoot sense and a work sense. I enjoyed last week's promo very much but I thought the Larry King skit was way too simular to the old Billionaire Ted stuff to be taken seriously. But where does this leave Kane? You have to just go on as if the Edge angle never happened now? Don't you? I dunno. Right now the only thing I find interesting on RAW is the Hogan/HBK angle. I've tried but I just really can't make myself give a shit about Cena/Jericho. The Olympian vs. Special Olympian angle with Angle and Eugene is mildly amusing. I mean anything that gets Tatanka back on tv has to be pretty good right!?!? I will ask you all this: 1) What the fuck is the point of the Kerwin White deal? How may weeks do you think the new Rob "Bad Ass" Buff BagGunn" Conway will last?

And over on Smackdown: Eddie Guerrero reveals he is really Dominic Mysterios father(argh!) They debut a character who is a knockoff of the Austin Powers' Mole Character except instead of a mole it looks like a freakin' tumor hanging off the side of her face(yeah that joke won't get old), JBL is still poluting the main event spot, Orlando Jordan beat Chris Benoit......let me say that again ORLANDO JORDAN BEAT CHRIS BENOIT(cherish that copy of Wrestlemania 20 Chris cause it's all downhill from here)

And so ends my recap of WWE, now onto ......




THE ULTIMATE SHOOT!! (NOT EXACTLY)


Well I just got in a highly anticipated shoot interview with the "legendary" Ultimate Warrior. Folks, alot of people in the wrestling business unjustly get a bad reputation as either an asshole, or a flake, or a lunatic and the Warrior is certainly one of the people who has been called all those things at one time or another and after watching this interview I can only draw one conclusion......THEY'RE RIGHT! This guy is a fucking nutcase. For one thing, he is constantly refferring throughout about the "Ultimate Warrior Character" as if it is some deep complex character who was some sort of enigma or something.

Let's take a look at what embodied the 'Ultimate Warrior Character'. Well let's see: A big roided up guy with a painted face, shoestrings around his arms, who babbled LONG INCOHERRENT promos who threw clotheslines.....lots.....and lots......of clotheslines...........OK there you go there is the great 'Ultimate Warrior Character', didn't need a two hour interview to sum up Ultimate Warrior the wrestler, but Warrior the person..........is a whole other story. First off the man formally known as Jim Hellwig had his names legally changed several years ago to WARRIOR, his driver's license reads: WARRIOR. He says that his wife and children go by the surname: WARRIOR. How would you like to be his kids on graduation day ? Or his wife calling in a reservation for Mrs. Warrior. "Warrior, party of five." Anyways, he talks about his early days getting trained in California and how he and Sting bullshitted there way into the Jarrett territory with only 10 hours of training under there belt.(and GOD did it show, if you've ever seen the tapes)

He's got VERY defensive when the interviewer asked him about a "urban legend" about him being 'blown up' from his running, rope shaking ring entrances before the match even started. He yelled, "I never claimed not to be." and said he felt if you weren't 'blown up' in the ring you weren't giving the people their money's worth. He acknowledged that the 'urban legend' is true that New Japan originally came up with the Big Van Vader gimmick with him in mind rather than Leon White but White got the gig when opted to work for Vince instead. Something I found funny was when the interviewer asked him about people criticizing him for his limited moveset. He then proceded to name off every move he's ever done, "I've axehandles, wristlocks, armbars, atomic drops......" FUNNY SHIT!

He said he would get himself ready to go the ring by going off alone and screaming "fuck it, fuck it, fuck it" to 'get his head in the right place'. He would then visualize how he needed to run to the ring to avoid fans grabbing his strings. Much like Rob Feinstein(RF Video) the interviewer kept asking him, "What are you memories of (insert PPV here)" Warrior finally got pissed and bitched him out over his "obsession with memories" and started singing the song, 'Memories'. Funny, yet weird. What did he think was gonna go on during a shoot interview?

Says Jake Roberts is a liar and a loser. (no argument there)

Warrior isn't fond of Ric Flair, says he's two faced and thinks it's pathetic that he's still trying to wrestle at his age. (or there)

Says he didn't play 'political games' even though he walked out numerous before big events to try to hold them up for more money or to go over. Brutus Beefcake claims that Warrior threatened to quit the company if they didn't put the IC belt on him at SummerSlam '88

Says he believes there are no limits to the potential of the Warrior character outside of wrestling as an action hero, a video game based on completing challeges, comic books, he made fitness video, etc.

Fought a five year court battle that he eventually won to own the rights to the Ultimate Warrior name and character.


He are some things he said I agree with:

He feels the Montreal Screwjob was a work based on the fact they just happened to be doing a documentary that captured the whole thing.

He says he felt Hogan brought in the Renegade to draw him out to get him to come in. He thought the whole thing was funny.


Anyway this is just a portion of the ridiculous shit that's said during this shoot. If you want to hear the rest it's available at ringside collectibles.com or any of the shoots or wrestling videos I talk about in the column(I have over 300 dvds, and God only knows how many VHS) you can email me at genejackson@charter.net to purchase them for a reasonable price.


Feedback from the "Good Wrestler" Column

Hey, I got some really great feedback on the "What makes a good wrestler" post from a few weeks ago but one of the more insightful responses I got was from Tim Long, here is what he sent me:

"How ya doin? I know you don't know me, but trust me, I been around a looooong time. I was intrigued by your question about workers and wrestlers. Great wrestlers (pistols) more often than not make good to great workers. They have the athletic ability and competitive instinct to feel the crowd. And believe it or not, it's the competition factor that most dictates the talent of the worker. Even though pro wrestling is a work - it IS a competiton. It's a game played out in an arena between the workers and the marks. The truley great workers are very simply the one's with a true love for the game. Lawler is a grade A, number 1, first class, asshole. But he is arguably the best WORKER of all time. Being an asshole and wanting to get one up on the fans gave him that drive to out wit the marks. The art of telling the story is lost today. What makes a great worker is not just being able to tell a story, but rather being able to take a story idea and improvise and impr! ove upon it in the ring in front of the crowd. It's all for the love of the game. The passion for the game is weak now because most of the folks entering the business today don't take the biz seriously. It really breaks my heart. Getting back on the subject, in the day, the workers protected the entertainers. You know, the sideshow freaks that sold tickets but didn't have a clue how to work a crowd - ie, Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Lex Luger, Austin Idol, Abduhla th Butcher, etc. Not that some of these entertainers weren't good guys, but they were NOT good workers. To combat this, the promotions (before cable) would bill the entertainers in the main event but then run that match in the midde of the card on the night of the show. Because they knew that the match would have a better than average chance of completely blowing, it would run before the semi. Then the semi and main ,or what ever they called the final 2 matches, would match up the best WORKERS on the card. This ! insured that the crowd would leave satisfied and excited. No one used this technique more often than Vince's father in the WWWF. The announcers were paid to create the persona of the entertainer so that he could sell the tickets. Because more often than not, the muscle bound entertainer could not get himself over. If the promotion did not believe in down carding at showtime then they simply would not put 2 entertainers together. Entertainers would only work programs with good workers, and were instructed to let the workers call the spots. When myself and Kenny Shane Hart were the "Streetwalkers" in ICW during the early 80's, there were several times that we were listed as the third match on the card, but at the show Randy Savage moved us to last because in his own words - they couldn't get over us - and he wanted to leave the crowd excited and happy. Savage was one of the better workers in the business but at the time he was running programs with the likes of Crusher Broomfield (ak! a WWF's One Man Gang) and the Barbarian. They were hugh powerful men and really nice guys, but not good workers. Well anyway, I could go on all night, but you get the picture. Now days, the announcers job is to put every body over because nobody can tell there own stories anymore. And though I hate to agree with Kevin Nash (another f-ing entertainer) he hit a home run with the statement referring to the non-WORKING writers trying to dictate matches and stories. Again I could go on and on, but it's easier to talk than type. This message has taken me over an hour to type. LOL
Thanks for the soap box. LMAO."
Tim "Allnite" Long
The 1 Bull Ryder


Thanks, Tim for for the response it's good to hear from someone with a knowledge of the business beyond the usual bullshit I've become used to reading most places.

I will be posting again in a couple of days on recent happenings as well as my thoughts on the recent Ultimate Warrior shoot that I watched(unFUCKINGbelivable)

So be sure to check it out, if your looking for shark talk and comic book pussy shit then you'll have to go elsewhere but if your looking for wrestling talk(and God forbid you expect wrestling talk from someone who posts on a WRESTLING website) then be sure to check it out.

GENE